"Conflict resolution skills are critical for us to learn. The reason is because we are sure to have conflicts in relationships with others. Without the ability to successfully resolve our problems, anger and emotional distance builds over time.
Every relationship (new or old) has problems, even good relationships. The difference between a good and a bad relationship with someone, is simply the ability to work through our problems. The good news is every person can learn the skills of successful conflict resolution. Regardless of the mistakes you may have made in the past, you can turn your relationship and life around by learning these skills. By the way, conflict resolution skills don't just work in your relationships with a partner they help us in every relationship.
Because this is so important, involved in dealing with problems when they occur. I'm going to begin by talking about how to deal with your anger.
In the bible if you were to look it up it would say: (Ephesians 4:26) Be angry, and do not sin, do not let the sun go down on your anger... Apostle Paul tells us about dealing with anger is that we must acknowledge it. He says, Be angry.... Denying anger doesn't make it go away, it makes it build up until it explodes in a destructive and unmanageable manner.
A lot of use don't know how to deal with our anger. We all stuff a lot of it inside and about every few weeks or even months then we can't hold anymore in, something stupid would happen or be said that would have an explosive feeling to it and we will always want to fight, it never fails with the person we always care the most about. Sometimes our fights were about the dumbest little things but they were just the spark that caused the stored up anger inside of us to explode, then everything that you are or were angry about comes out to hurt the one you care about, but the real reason you were really angry to begin with never gets cover or talked out. Because your to busy blaming your mate for the reasons you are feeling the way you do, when you should really be looking in the mirror and seeing who really failed you...Its you not your partner.
What we need to learned over time is that we should never go to bed on anger, at anyone. We not only need to learned to accept our own anger but we also need to learned that we had to give each other the right to be angry and to express anger. In relationships, there is always a wrong method of dealing with anger. The range goes from an explosive anger that damages others to an enabling a partner who lives in the fear of their own anger and what might happen if they were honest about it. Many people live in fear of their own anger and their partner's anger. This is one of the ways you know you aren't resolving conflict properly.
Anger isn't necessarily good or bad it's just real. As human beings we get angry. Sometimes it is because we've been genuinely violated we feel or sometimes for real. In other cases, it's because we're immature or have unrealistic expectations or are selfish, and think everything should be the way we like it, and not thinking how others may be feeling. When we get angry and need to get it out we always claim that we are the ones in the right, just because we are angry and want to blame someone.
Learning to be honest about your anger and allowing your mate or the person you care about to do the same is the first step in successful conflict resolution. Remember.... Be angry and do not sin, because you want to blame someone else for what you did to make you angry, as they don't always know when they do something if it will make you mad at them. You need to allow them to express just like you if you want to feel you have the right to place blame...
Once you are able to accept your anger you must also commit to doing the right thing with it. You can never use your anger to justify unrighteous behavior. The end doesn't justify the means. How you resolve conflict is crucial. It must be done in a manner that honors you and treats the person you care about with dignity and care, or they will someday not want to be with you and look some where else to find what they need. So if you really love then....Don't hurt them or drive them away, old saying (think before you speak)."
Every relationship (new or old) has problems, even good relationships. The difference between a good and a bad relationship with someone, is simply the ability to work through our problems. The good news is every person can learn the skills of successful conflict resolution. Regardless of the mistakes you may have made in the past, you can turn your relationship and life around by learning these skills. By the way, conflict resolution skills don't just work in your relationships with a partner they help us in every relationship.
Because this is so important, involved in dealing with problems when they occur. I'm going to begin by talking about how to deal with your anger.
In the bible if you were to look it up it would say: (Ephesians 4:26) Be angry, and do not sin, do not let the sun go down on your anger... Apostle Paul tells us about dealing with anger is that we must acknowledge it. He says, Be angry.... Denying anger doesn't make it go away, it makes it build up until it explodes in a destructive and unmanageable manner.
A lot of use don't know how to deal with our anger. We all stuff a lot of it inside and about every few weeks or even months then we can't hold anymore in, something stupid would happen or be said that would have an explosive feeling to it and we will always want to fight, it never fails with the person we always care the most about. Sometimes our fights were about the dumbest little things but they were just the spark that caused the stored up anger inside of us to explode, then everything that you are or were angry about comes out to hurt the one you care about, but the real reason you were really angry to begin with never gets cover or talked out. Because your to busy blaming your mate for the reasons you are feeling the way you do, when you should really be looking in the mirror and seeing who really failed you...Its you not your partner.
What we need to learned over time is that we should never go to bed on anger, at anyone. We not only need to learned to accept our own anger but we also need to learned that we had to give each other the right to be angry and to express anger. In relationships, there is always a wrong method of dealing with anger. The range goes from an explosive anger that damages others to an enabling a partner who lives in the fear of their own anger and what might happen if they were honest about it. Many people live in fear of their own anger and their partner's anger. This is one of the ways you know you aren't resolving conflict properly.
Anger isn't necessarily good or bad it's just real. As human beings we get angry. Sometimes it is because we've been genuinely violated we feel or sometimes for real. In other cases, it's because we're immature or have unrealistic expectations or are selfish, and think everything should be the way we like it, and not thinking how others may be feeling. When we get angry and need to get it out we always claim that we are the ones in the right, just because we are angry and want to blame someone.
Learning to be honest about your anger and allowing your mate or the person you care about to do the same is the first step in successful conflict resolution. Remember.... Be angry and do not sin, because you want to blame someone else for what you did to make you angry, as they don't always know when they do something if it will make you mad at them. You need to allow them to express just like you if you want to feel you have the right to place blame...
Once you are able to accept your anger you must also commit to doing the right thing with it. You can never use your anger to justify unrighteous behavior. The end doesn't justify the means. How you resolve conflict is crucial. It must be done in a manner that honors you and treats the person you care about with dignity and care, or they will someday not want to be with you and look some where else to find what they need. So if you really love then....Don't hurt them or drive them away, old saying (think before you speak)."
